I gave a talk at a Non-Alcoholic Booze school this past week at a local bar. Yes, that’s right, our little non-alcoholic industry is so happening right now that bars that do monthly booze schools to teach their patrons about the finer points of mescal, merlots or marzens, now have schools to teach their patrons about NA drinks.
Pinch us, we’re dreaming. And welcome to Dry January.
Or is it?
I asked the crowd of patrons, people obviously interested in NA brews and cocktails, since they had forked over $15 to be here at NA booze school, how many are doing Dry January?
I would’ve thought half, maybe?
No one. Not only were they not doing Dry January they were proudly drinking their way through the month.
So, I asked, how many are trying to cut back or maybe drink less this month?
Everyone raised their hands.
Welcome to Damp January.
For purists like me, people who are fulltime non-alcoholics, it’s easy to poo-poo those who try to have their dry cake and eat it too. If we were a meme we would be giving you Damp Januarys a perplexed catface double take look. Whah?!
And yet, I LOVE Damp January! Because Damp is on the front lines of the battle. Damp is me up on that wall, staring out at the legions of booze lovers, people who love to drink. You want me on that wall -- you need me on that wall!
For many, Dry January is a terrifying, incomprehensible, and immediate trigger to defensive positions. What are we going to drink during the playoffs?There’s nothing to do BUT go to bars!!
Damp January is a warm bunny layup.
All you gotta do is mix WellBeing Beers in! And everyone at the NA booze school was learning all the benefits of mixing us in. Extended sessions, less hungover because of proper hydration, and the ability to maintain the perfect buzz. (Also, many in the audience were partaking in cannabis and were awakened to the beauty of a delicious NA IPA with their carefully choreographed THC high vs a clumsy high abv beverage that turns that high to shit)
Damp January is our way in. It’s the infiltration process behind enemy lines! Once a drinker starts the night out with an Intentional IPA and finishes it with a Victory Wheat with Electrolytes they’re not going back.